I was diagnosed with “clinical depression”just shy of two years of sobriety almost 16 years ago. I was a mess at the time, I had not dealt with feelings throughout my life.
I drank, but now found myself without that crutch. I was married and facing divorce, a gay closet case who had no clue about how to live life on life™s terms.
At 30 years old, I was put on anti-depressants. They seemed to do the trick along with cognitive therapy and a lot of work on the 12 steps of recovery with a sponsor. My life became better beyond my wildest dreams.
I tried over the many years to wean myself from the drugs, as I truly had no reason to be on them. But I was addicted. Every attempt to leave the drugs behind left me in a darkness that debilitated me beyond any capacity to deal with the world. Every attempt ended the same way: I would abandon my efforts and take the pills again.
Always thinking I might get the dose right enough to be OK – you know, not too wound up and not too lethargic and unmotivated, I tried to “be grateful” that there was a drug that allowed me to function in society. Somehow being grateful for a mind-altering drug never seemed to jive with my clean-and-sober beliefs (for which I am extremely grateful).
I finally decided to take it upon myself to find the cause of this “chemical imbalance”instead of simply treating it. With the help of a good friend and the internet, I found the obvious: that the chemicals going into my body in my food as well as personal hygiene products needed to be examined thoroughly.
I am an avid reader. The education I got was astounding. I was amazed at what we as a society have allowed ourselves to be subjected to by way of being legally poisoned. I gave up all of these products, went vegetarian and kept studying.
I was lead to the “Expo of the Heart” at the Ft. Lauderdale Convention Center. This is where I discovered HHI, Brian Clement and wheatgrass. I was riveted by Brian’s lecture. I started growing wheatgrass and juicing every morning. It took me a year, but I came to HHI a step ahead and very ready to get rid of the pills for good. I made arrangements and had only a very short time for “weaning” (five days). I am so grateful to everyone at HHI, including the wonderful crowd that was there when I was. I felt safe and never experienced the “darkness.”While I had some severe withdrawal – incessant itching – but all in all my stay at HHI was far beyond my wildest dreams. My education from the lectures was priceless. I am so happy to be free from “big pharma.” I truly hope that my story may help others to understand that there is a way to be free from that awful “medication” that is making fuzzy zombies of way too many of us.
Vol 29 Issue 1 page 45